


I'd Lie Everyday To Save You

by DamsInDistress



Category: Formula E RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 05:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12125643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DamsInDistress/pseuds/DamsInDistress
Summary: Lucas doesn’t keep a list of hearts he probably broke. It would have been too much for his conscience to bear. But there was only ever one name on the list of who broke his.





	I'd Lie Everyday To Save You

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the craziest plot I've come up with and I can't believe I actually ended up writing it.

Lucas doesn’t keep a list of hearts he probably broke. It would have been too much for his conscience to bear. But there was only ever one name on the list of who broke his. 

2010 was a realization of a dream. He finally made it to Formula 1. After years of proving that he was good enough, all the sacrifices he made, the people he left behind in Brazil, Lucas finally made it. He was sharing the grid with champions, legends and legends in the making. There’s nothing Lucas wanted more than to be part of that list. For the name Lucas di Grassi to mean something the moment people hear it or see it. It was as if luck would have it that Bruno would join the same year that he did. Many people couldn’t see past Bruno’s famous last name but Lucas knows that there’s nothing Bruno wanted more than to be known as Bruno Senna and not just someone’s nephew. The two of them bond over a lot of things and spending time together made them both a little less homesick during the tough times. 

And tough times did indeed come their way. Reality hit Lucas pretty fast as every race the goal would be not to finish last or to even finish at all. Sometimes all Lucas wanted was to crawl into a ball and hide from the world for a bit. But Bruno was having none of it even if he was having a similar dismal season. Bruno was too kind for his own good. Accommodating people who only really wanted to talk to him because of his uncle. He answered all their questions with a smile on his face. Bruno would drag Lucas out after races to have dinner and drinks and even the occasional parties with some of the other drivers. Normally Lucas wouldn’t even think about hanging out with anyone apart from Bruno but here he was at some restaurant with Bruno’s teammate and the two drivers from Toro Rosso. 

Bruno ordered him a drink the moment they sat down. “Try not to be too much of a grump.” Bruno teases as Lucas sips on his too strong drink. Dinner was a lot better than he expected. Karun was funny and he can see why he got on well with Bruno. Alguersuari was entertaining in his own right as he joked with all of them and even asked if they wanted to go to a club after which Bruno and Karun said yes to. Sebastien was a bit more reserved than the other two but he had his own sense of humor which Lucas surprisingly understood and the two of them would have their own little conversations while the three annoyed the other people at the restaurant with their boisterous laughing. They did indeed end up at some club as Jaime managed to talk the DJ to letting him spin a few songs for the crowd. Bruno, Karun and Lucas were on the dance floor as Seb needed a bit more egging on for him to join them. It ended up being the most fun Lucas has had since the start of the season. 

It becomes a thing, the four of them or maybe even more, would go out to dinner and then to a club. Karun and Bruno would find where to eat while Jaime would show them where they could go to after. Even though Lucas got on well with Karun and Jaime, it was still Seb that he would have hushed conversations with during dinner or as they make their way to another place. Seb was awkward for a racing driver but he had this air around him that he knew he was a good one. He doesn’t really talk much unless spoken to but he had his way of letting you know that he was still part of the conversation. Lucas doesn’t know when he went from analyzing to getting to know Sebastien in the short amount of time they’ve spent together. But Lucas knows himself enough to admit to himself that he liked spending time with the younger man even though maybe he won’t admit it to others. 

“So you like Buemi, huh.” Bruno says out of the blue while they were having coffee after a morning run. “He’s okay.” Lucas says with a shrug. “I don’t mean it like that, Tucci. You like him more than you like other people.” Bruno says with a grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lucas scoffs. “I see the way you look at him during dinner. Like you want to keep him talking and the way you look at him when he laughs. You look at him like you want to make him happy.” Bruno says. “You’re really weird, Senna.” Lucas says as he downs his now cold coffee. “Call me what you want but you’re not denying anything.” Bruno says with a triumphant grin. “Since when did you become such a love expert?” Lucas asks sarcastically. “I never said anything about love.” Bruno says with an even bigger grin. “Whatever.” Lucas says as he gets up and watches Bruno down his own coffee. “The grumpiest Brazilian is in love.” Bruno sing-songs as Lucas punches his shoulder. 

What turns out to be his only season in Formula 1 ends up being a complete write-off. Zero points to his name and a car that will most likely finish at the back if it even finishes at all. He gets a job for Pirelli in 2011 as a test driver. Enough to keep him significant enough until he figures out what to do with himself. 2012 changes everything for Lucas when a call from Audi comes his way. He dives head first into the world of endurance racing, sharing a car with Tom Kristensen and Allan McNish of all people and wearing the crest of Audi just above his heart. Lucas finally felt like he found his place in the racing world and his purpose once again. As if that wasn’t enough of a surprise to him, Lucas finds another one in the form of spotting a familiar face a few garages down over at Toyota. It was Sebastien in the Toyota overalls talking to his engineer. Lucas feels a small smile tug on his lips as Seb turns towards his direction and spots him. His own face breaks into a smile as he makes his way towards Lucas. “Fancy seeing you here.” Seb says before he gives Lucas a quick hug. 

It was a different Seb compared to the one he met in 2010. He looked a lot happier, more relaxed and he was smiling more than when he was wearing the colors of Red Bull. Lucas thinks to himself that he prefers this Seb to the old one before he quickly dismisses that thought. He was still a rival, he still had to beat him. The Audi was a dream to drive as Lucas ends up loving the car with ever lap he did in it. Lucas finally felt like he had the car that can show everyone what he can do. Audi has given him such a gift that Lucas wouldn’t do anything to throw all of this away. He gets to do Le Mans, something he never even dreamed of doing, but there he was lining up on the starting grid of the biggest race in the world. 

Opportunities seem to keep knocking his way when in 2014 a chance to do a whole new racing series came his way. Formula E was a series unlike any other with racing with fully electric cars in street circuits in the most exotic countries around the world. He was reunited with Bruno who gave him a bone-crushing hug when he told him the news. His friend also told him the news that he was seeing someone. “It’s Nico.” Bruno says with a smile as his eyes light up at the mention of the Frenchman’s name. “I heard Sebastien’s going to be his teammate.” Bruno adds. “Yeah? Well looks like everywhere I go, Seb goes.” Lucas jokes but Bruno knows him better than that. “You still have that look when you talk about him.” Bruno says. “What look?” Lucas asks. “Like he means more than you let yourself think he does.” Bruno adds. “He’s a rival.” Lucas insists. “Try again, Tucci.” Bruno says as he rolls his eyes. “What do you want me to say, Bruno? Yes, I wish we were more than rivals? Yes, I wish we were actually friends? That then maybe I’d have a shot at actually getting to know him better and maybe, just maybe, we’d end up as more than that?” Lucas finally lets out. 

“It only took you a couple of years to admit it.” Bruno says. “Well it’s too late to do something about it.” Lucas says. “No it’s not. It’s never too late.” Bruno insists. “You’re too optimistic and too in love to think otherwise.” Lucas says with a small chuckle. “I’d end up hurting myself even more if I tried anything. I couldn’t even think of possibly hurting Seb if I tried something.” Lucas adds. It was the last they spoke of the matter until the season started. He ends up fighting up front with Seb and Nelson for walking away with the championship. Winning the first race felt like redemption after years of not having a win to his name. As the season goes, his point to Bruno became more clear. Sebastien was his rival and they would fight each other with all that they have for the win. The words exchanged take a nastier tone as the races go by. With that, Lucas’ goal became clear. He needed to beat Sebastien no matter what it takes. 

Lucas wins a few more races and with it came the string of names that made their way to his bed at night after victories and even some on races to forget. Sometimes it was Loïc warming up his bed but they soon drifted apart when Jerome made his intentions clear to the Frenchman. Then there was Daniel. He was young and eager to please. He wanted to learn as much as he can from the experience Lucas has. They take his mind off of a certain someone until he wakes up the next day and thinks of another world of what could have been if he wasn’t lying to himself. Audi ends up pulling out of WEC and it spells the end of Lucas’ Le Mans dreams. His teammates hide their worries well but it was all at the back of their minds worrying about where they’ll be next year. Lucas spots Andre talking to Nakajima, he watches how they seem to be a world away whenever they’re around each other. Lucas wasn’t one to intrude but he somehow finally understands what Bruno meant about having that look when talking to or about someone who meant more to someone. 

Bruno left Formula E. It was such a blow to Lucas loosing his friend on the grid. That one person who truly knows him and he felt properly alone. With all the new faces and teams on the grid, it was still his and Sebastien’s name that was at the center of it all. Lucas made it his mission to make it his year. He’s already lost so much with leaving WEC and not doing Le Mans that he wanted this one thing so bad. It didn’t start the way he wanted it to. Seb took win after win after win and to make it worse Lucas injured himself as he tries to pull himself together. The championship was Seb’s to loose and Lucas intends on gaining it. Daniel was always a constant presence by his side and on his bed. Lucas felt bad right after they’ve fucked because he knew that despite how much he liked the younger man he will always be just that to him. “I spoke to Bruno.” Daniel says as he puts on his clothes. “I asked him to be honest with me and asked him if there was someone else.” Daniel adds. “He told me that the truth was I am the someone else. That if I wanted to know who it was that you belonged to I should watch the way you look at other people.” Daniel says. “And?” Lucas asks. “You would have been a good liar if it wasn’t for your eyes. You act like you want to destroy Buemi but you look at him like he’s the most important thing in the world to you.” Daniel says. “You should stop lying to yourself. You’d have hurt a lot less people.” He says before he leaves Lucas’ room that night. 

“I’m getting married.” Bruno tells him. He proposed to Nico in Paris and he said yes. “I want you as my best man.” Bruno says as Lucas smiles at his friend. He was genuinely happy for Bruno and Nico and he couldn’t say no to what Bruno asked. “As if I’d let anyone else be your best man.” He says as he pulls Bruno into a hug. “Nico said he asked Seb to be his best man and he said yes.” Bruno says tentatively. “It’s your wedding. Whatever makes you happy.” Lucas says with a small smile. The months leading up to the wedding was the most awkward months of his life so far. Spending his days off with Bruno, Nico and Seb doing suit fittings, food & wine tasting and picking out a cake. It was the most time he’s spent around Sebastien that didn’t involve the two of them trying to get the better of each other. Being around Bruno and Nico who were clearly in love made it a bit more harder for him. “You do know you’re both going to have to make a speech at the wedding, right?” Nico reminds them one day. “Of course! I already wrote mine down the moment you told me you were dating Bruno.” Seb jokes as Lucas finds himself laughing along. It reminded him so much of the Seb he had hushed conversations with years ago as he felt a twinge in his heart. It made him realize that he missed a lot about Sebastien. He missed out on a lot with how in denial he is over his own feelings. 

Bruno and Nico eventually go back home to their apartment in Monaco. Lucas offers Seb a ride since they live on the same side of the principality. “They look really happy.” Seb says with a small smile. “Mhmm.” Lucas hums in agreement. “I’ve never seen Nico look that in love with someone.” He add. “Same with Bruno.” Lucas says. It wasn’t as awkward as he thought it would be. “You ever been in love, Lucas?” Seb asks, there was a teasing tone in his question. Maybe he spoke too soon about the awkward part. “I guess I can say yes.” He says. “You guess? So you’re not sure you loved a person?” Seb asks. “It’s complicated. What about you?” Lucas returns his own question. “I guess I can say the same thing. I could see myself loving the person but there really wasn’t much to begin with.” Seb says as he looks at Lucas. Lucas drops Seb off his building before he makes his way home. He thinks about who it could be that Seb has feelings for. He couldn’t really say that he lost out when he wasn’t his to begin with. 

When everything was done and dusted in Montreal, Lucas was the one who walked away with the championship. It was the moment of validation that Lucas has craved for for so long. Everyone had congratulated him on his win, even Nelson who he was sure hated his guts came up to him and offered his congratulations, everyone but one person. It wasn’t until the gala dinner that Lucas saw Sebastien after the race. He was outside the ballroom after receiving a call from his family that he saw Seb hanging around outside. “Congratulations Lucas.” Seb says, and he could tell that he meant it even if it was at his loss. “Thank you. It means a lot coming from you.” Lucas says despite himself. “I guess I’ll see you around and at the wedding.” Seb says before he makes his exit. He watches his figure disappear. If it was him in Seb’s place he wouldn’t hang around either but there was a small voice in his head telling him what if he asked him to stay. To stay a little longer. To stay with him. 

Bruno and Nico’s wedding was one of the most beautiful things that Lucas has probably witnessed. Everything was just filled with love and happiness and Bruno & Nico were the picture of pure wedded bliss as they share their first kiss as a married couple. At the reception, Alain made his speech and how happy he was that Bruno was now officially family. Bruno’s own family welcoming Nico into theirs as well. It eventually came time for Sebastien to make his best man speech. Lucas finds himself listening to every word he says. How Nico and Bruno’s love was the kind that everyone one would wish to find. It eventually came time for him to make his own speech. He kept it short and sweet. Telling everyone that watching Bruno and Nico taught him that love doesn’t have to be as complicated as everyone thought it would be. 

The party was in full swing as Lucas finds himself alone in the garden with the music from the band playing in the background. “What’s it like not being the center of attention?” A familiar voice asks him. “Refreshing.” Lucas answers Seb. “I usually hate being the single one at weddings.” He says as he takes a seat next to Lucas on the bench. “You could have brought a date.” Lucas says with a shrug. “I thought maybe I’d find one here.” Seb says. “I could ask you the same thing.” Seb adds. “Not worth the trouble.” Lucas says. “You think maybe we could be friends now that we have one a piece?” Seb says to try and lighten the mood. “I don’t think I can be just friends with you, Sebastien.” Lucas says as he turns to look at him. Lucas felt lighter after he said those words. It was the first time he wasn’t lying to anyone. He hears Seb sigh as he looks Lucas in the eyes. "I could have loved you Lucas. But I knew you'd hurt me. You'd hurt me so bad I wouldn't even know what to do with myself after." He says. Lucas felt like he’d just been punched and the wind knocked right out of him. “So I guess you’re right. We can’t just be friends.” He adds as Lucas watches the gap grow smaller between them and Lucas feels chapped lips pressed against his own. 

It wasn’t Seb’s championship that he wanted so badly. In that moment he realized that the validation he craved for didn’t come from winning the championship. It was Seb. “I knew, Lucas. I’ve always known.” Sebastien says when he broke the kiss. “I’m sorry.” Lucas says as he avoids looking at him. Maybe in another lifetime he could have made things right. Maybe if he didn’t lie to so many people he could have been happier. Maybe if he didn’t lie to himself about his own feelings then maybe he could have had Seb by his side all along instead of looking at him from across so many obstacles. Just maybe.


End file.
